Strong Family Support Needed

More than forty years ago I watched my husband go off to the Vietnam war.  He spent two of the next four years flying combat missions over Viet Nam.  During that I and our two sons waited anxiously for the letters and infrequent calls, but most importantly we waited for his safe return.  During this time, we and the other military families kept the home fires burning.  We supported each other. We didn’t expect much from the rear echelon staff at the base.  What we did though was work very hard to keep our families together because we knew it was this stability that gave our husbands strength to continue.  In fact, of over 30 B-52 aircrews deployed from our base and in the four year period I do not remember one divorce.  Was this just a fluke?  I don’t think so.  I believe it was because we knew we were responsible for our own decisions and actions.  We knew it was about commitment.  We did this in the face of protestors at the gate and across the nation.  We did this in the face of losses as some of the husbands went down over North Vietnam. We did it because we knew in our hearts that an intact and supportive family was critically necessary.  The same is true today.

Fast forward to almost 30 years later and our two sons were flying combat missions over Kosovo.  There were still SAMs to dodge, but times had changed.  There were no protestors at the gate and our military was being honored and respected.  The internet was alive and well and almost daily contact with home was possible.  What did not changed was the need for strong families. What also did not change: our daughters-in-law and other spouses kept the home fires burning.  These families supported each other, and later, as the wars in the Gulf ensued, they did the same as their husbands and wives went back to war.  They did it because an intact and supportive family is as critically necessary today as much as it was then. 

But what has changed is the uncertainty of divorce.  Commitment to our oath of marriage changed.

But the foundations of our society did not change.  We still need strong stable families.

I am not saying that better pay and care of our troops is not necessary.  I am not saying that we don’t need to honor our troops.  I am not saying that caring for our veterans is not necessary.  What I am saying is that what makes our nation secure are the dedicated troops backed by strong, intact families.  And it is not just the families of our troops that are critical.  It is every family in this country.  

The single most important factor that defines the success of our country is an intact family.  This is true no matter what you use to measure it.  To paraphrase an old adage, intact families are by any measure, healthier, wealthier, and wiser.